PDF Download I'm Okay, You're Okay, by MD Thomas A. Harris
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I'm Okay, You're Okay, by MD Thomas A. Harris
PDF Download I'm Okay, You're Okay, by MD Thomas A. Harris
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- Sales Rank: #1102298 in Books
- Published on: 1969
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Hardcover
- 267 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
THE BESTSELLING POPULARIZATION OF ERIC BERNE'S "TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS" (TA)
By Steven H Propp
Thomas Anthony Harris (1910-1995) was an American psychiatrist; he wrote in the Preface, "One of the most significant contributions of Transactional Analysis is that it has given patients a tool they can use. The purpose of this book is to define this tool. Anybody can use it. People do not have to be 'sick' to benefit from it." (Pg. 16-17)
He asserts, "Very early in life every child concludes, "I'm not OK.' He makes a conclusion about his parents, also: 'You're OK.' ... This position, I'M NOT OK---YOU'RE OK, is the most deterministic decision of his life... Because it is a decision it can be changed by a new decision. But not until it is understood." (Pg. 60) He adds, "Once finalized... It stays with him the rest of his life, unless he later consciously changes it to the fourth position [I'M OK, YOU'RE OK]." (Pg. 66-67) [NOTE: Claude Steiner says in Scripts People Live that this misrepresents Berne's position.]
He argues, "The Adult has something to work on: What must I do to gain ... their approval? There are two ways... The first is to live out a LIFE SCRIPT ["the early decisions, made unconsciously, as to how life shall be lived"] that confirms the NOT OK. It is written unconsciously by the Child... A more common way ... is by a COUNTERSCRIPT (also unconscious) with borrowed lines from the Parent: YOU CAN BE OK, IF." (Pg. 68-69)
He notes, "There is a fourth position, wherein lies our hope. It is the I'M OK---YOU'RE OK position... The first three positions are based on feelings. The fourth is based on thought, faith, and the wager of action... We do not drift into a new position. It is a decision we make." (Pg. 74) He adds, "The aim of this book is to establish that the only way people get well or become OK is to expose the childhood predicament underlying the first three positions and prove how current behavior perpetuates the positions." (Pg. 76)
While the star of TA has faded into obscurity since the 1970s, this book is still a very helpful introduction to Transactional Analysis.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Read it a long time ago, liked it, so decided to read it again.
By Bill D
Read it a long time ago, liked it, so decided to read it again.
The transactional analysis approach to understanding yourself is very helpful.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Gems of wisdom!
By Mary Ann
I first read this (and "Games People Play") back in the 70's or so, when they first came out. Excellent then, and excellent now. I ordered both after making it partway through a book (which shall remain nameless) emphasizing the importance of communicating your feelings very openly and honestly. And apparently done so with very little thought given to how those words will be received by your listener. All of which brought my thoughts back to the wisdom, and simplicity of "I'm Okay, You're Okay", and "Games People Play" (which I'll now share with the person who'd loaned me the book whose title I won't mention!)
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